Un-Break My Heart

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18

The last time I lived in Georgia, several things happened. I developed a skin condition vitiligo; my high school sweetheart tracked me down and broke my heart a second time; a new boyfriend abused and almost killed me; and my relationship with my Mom hit an all-time low. Needless to say, I didn’t want to come back here. When I crossed over into the state of Georgia in April 2021, I was filled with anxiety, fear, and failure. 

Because I knew the road ahead of me, I sunk back into a deep state of depression, which has been a constant friend for almost twenty years. Just the sheer will of waking up every day was exhausting. I was doing the bare minimum to stay alive. I stayed in the fog (my nickname for depression) for some time. 

Being an empath and a highly sensitive person, I am always deeply impacted by people and things around me. It makes being an artist wonderful but also makes being a deep thinking-feeling human being difficult sometimes. 

One night, after a huge argument with my Mom and my aunt, I felt like I had been given an ultimatum – live or die. Parts of me were fighting for both options. It seemed as though I was about to give in to the darker side. Then, my phone rang. It was my friend Denise, who rarely calls at that time of the week. She felt led to call and check on me. I was fully honest with her. She helped pull me back into the light. 

The next day, after our call, I found a therapist, spiritual director, and life coach. Since I no longer had to pay rent or utilities, I had the money that I needed to satisfy my deep longing for healing and restoration. It also meant turning away some things – negative people and environments. It meant getting serious about my physical health and losing the 25 pounds the doctor wanted me to lose. It meant finding a community of faith-driven artists to hold me inspired and accountable to God’s call on my life as an artist and theologian. It meant finding a community of faith-driven entrepreneurs to help me build the company to support the call. It meant building the relationship I never had with my Mom and the rest of the women in my family (still a hopeful work in progress). Most of all, it meant deepening my relationship with God. That’s where I want to connect with you. 

I try not to get too personal at Love Speaks Daily because it is not about me. However, today, I wanted to give someone hope. If God can pull me out of the darkness with a phone call, I know God can pull you out of whatever situation in which you find yourself today. It simply means looking up, looking out, or looking around to see God. God is waiting to un-break your heart like he did mine.

Maybe today’s post is not for you. Maybe, it is for someone who you know needs this message. Feel free to forward it to that person. Most importantly, if you feel the urge to be like my friend Denise, don’t hesitate, please make the call.

Prompt for Thought: Is there something for which you need God to un-break your heart? If so, consider how God wants to help you do this. Consider how you can begin by deepening your relationship with God. If you are 100% good, consider how you can reach out to that person whose been on your mind lately. Allow God to use you to shine light into their life.

Prayer for the Journey: God, we all lose our way sometimes. For some, it is a life-or-death matter. For some, it is a bump in the road. For all of us, it is a deep longing for a deeper connection with you. Help us to find our way into your arms and allow you to do the work to un-break our hearts. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 


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