I can do all things through him who strengthens me. –Philippians 4:13, NRSV
This week, unless God re-routes me, I plan to discuss things that have stopped me in my purpose tracks over the years. In retrospect, fear has always been the root of it, but the source of that fear has been varied. Are you struggling with stepping into your purpose or staying the course? Perhaps, this week you find a key to getting unstuck and moving forward. Now, onto today’s topic: fear of the spotlight.
One of the main reasons that I have short-circuited my progress in ministry has been the fear of being in the spotlight. When God started me blogging in 2009, I constantly struggled with the positive feedback I was receiving. I felt so out of place and didn’t know how to respond. Eventually, I got over my fear of putting myself out there in writing and I learned to deal with the attention by placing the spotlight on God. But, as you know, God was not done with me.
In 2011, I took a class in order to be a better playwright for the kingdom. I didn’t know that I would have to perform my work, but when I did, my teacher recommended me for acting school. So 2012, I started the acting conservatory at Theatre Lab. In 2013, I debuted my first one-woman show at the Capital Fringe Festival. During that season in my life, I went from being terrified to using that fear to my advantage on stage. But, I will say it again; God was still not done with me.
In 2014, God tapped me on the shoulder to remind me of the ministry call on my life. This time, I could not use the fear of the spotlight, my inability to get up in front of people, or my fear of saying the wrong thing as excuses. He simply reminded me of acting school and my one-woman show. He had me cornered and as you all know, I started seminary last year. Now, get this, I have not gotten over my fear of being in the spotlight. In fact, I am more terrified of being in a pulpit that I ever was being on stage or blogging. However, I have learned that when I put God in the spotlight, things will turn out okay. When I was on stage doing my show and fear would hit, I would remind myself that God needed me to get this message out there for his glory. He wanted people to know that he loves them regardless of their circumstances or challenges. Those were the moments that I realized how awesome God is. He can take anything, including my fear, and make something special. Those moments were when the words and the characters really came to life. And, I even got used to the feedback of the audience after each show. All I had to do was trust God working through me and focus on blessing people.
So, now it is your turn. Is fear of the spotlight your issue? If so, how can you use that fear to your advantage. If that is not your issue, stay tuned for tomorrow’s post…